Pythagoras held himself aloof
As he outlined his famous proof
He ejected me as a worthless goof

So I spent some time in Plato’s cave
Watching all those shadows wave
But I learned nothing I could save

I’d been told about dialogues by Socrates
So I saved my coins to pay the fees
But they turned me away despite my pleas

By then Aristotle was teaching down the street
They said his lectures were quite a treat
Maybe so but they were not my meat

I left Greece for Egypt where I encountered Plotinus
About whom philosophers now made quite a fuss
I stayed for a while almost missed my bus

Heard about Nietzsche and the Superman
I found him and said that I was his biggest fan
He asked me a few questions, and away I ran

Later I hung around Cambridge and Oxford
Wittgenstein was just too much, Russell left me bored
So it seems I’ve given up, I’m philosophically unmoored