Amusement

  • The Poetry Machine

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    The Poetry Machine Will the poetry machine inside my head Keep running on after I am dead? Churning out copy for Roger G And others who might want to see Or will it finally grind to a halt Leaving remnants for the vault My output has not been all that prodigious So what does it…

  • The Workout

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    The Workout I was hoping to write a poem soon in couplets that all rhyme And I’m getting older faster so I’d better not waste time But first I’ll play around with the machines here in our gym Then jump into our pool and have myself a swim Now the blood is moving faster and…

  • Santa at the Gym

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    At Santa’s little cabin far up there in the northThe red-faced Mrs. Claus is once more holding forth On Santa’s peculiarities, especially his vicesBecoming, it seems, an existential crisis How can you get on those roof tops with that expanding bellyWhich has grown with all that snacking as you sit there at the telly Those…

  • The Bear

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    The Bear My horse was walking by the creek, I rode without a care Nearly dozing off I was when out stepped that old bear Who might have meant no harm but he startled my old mare Who jumped and threw his rider until then unaware Well her rider, namely me, catapulted through the air…

  • Thanks, but No Thanks

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    The French were unhappy with the hangman’s nooseOne convict escaped because the noose was too loose Another so light that his neck didn’t breakHe fell to the ground but his death was a fake One poor sod writhed, coughing and chokingWhile sadistic onlookers sat laughing and joking Then came an efficient execution machineKnown to the…

  • A Trip

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    Pillage in the Village, the sign read, which led me to askIs that a poem? I addressed the person in the Nixon mask I received no replyfrom that girl or guyIs that really you?Or am I just high? It seemed fruitless to stand and pursue what seemed to be a monologueSo I considered my options,…

  • Wha?

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    My ability to grasp this world has gone from bad to worseAfter learning that we live in an endless universe Infinity is just a word and not too clear to meMy own world is pretty much what you and I can see But now we know that all these things for which I dearly careAre…

  • My Coyote

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    I enjoy seeing a coyote here at the GlenBut just a few, not a pack of eight or ten If he’d be kind and gentle, I’d let that coyote inI’ll feed him well, some of them seem awfully thin I’ll bet he’ll let me pet him, rub his skinny tummyAre these the sentimental dreams of…

  • Homemade Limericks

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    A lovely young woman named JudyFell in love with the clown Howdy-DoodyShe asked that old clownIf he’d like to go downBut he said right now he’s too moody The old man took his colleague to dineBecause her young body looked fineShe said thanks for the foodBut I’m just not in the moodSo the pleasure tonight…

  • Hang On

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    What gives me most pleasureAs I reflectTry to selectIs there something I treasure Work out in the gymPretend I likeRiding that bikeTo get a bit trim Too old now to guzzleOr chase after lassesCertainly no tennis Planning’s a puzzleHow did I make passesNo longer a menace